Local Delicacies
by Sk8er Chica
Summary: Mutt and Indy arrive in Peru and Indy tries to introduce his young companion to local cuisine.
1. Chapter 1: Dining in Nazca

**DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!**

**A/N: Just a random one-shot I thought of a while ago. Please read and review!**

It was late in the afternoon by the time the plane touched down in Nazca, Peru. Indy always liked to jump into his adventures with both feet as soon as he arrived at his destination, but it might not be possible this time with his new partner, Mutt Williams. He was lagging several steps behind and kept yawning. Indy wasn't surprised. The kid had stayed awake for their entire trip and was probably jet-lagged as hell. Indy figured the best thing to do would be to find a place to stay for the night and get a fresh start in the morning. Having dinner wouldn't be a bad idea either...

Mutt and Indy wandered through the town square of Nazca. Indy was sort of playing tour guide, pointing out different street vendors and describing the kinds of primitive artwork the locals were selling. Mutt wasn't even paying attention; he was looking around for anything vaguely resembling a diner that would serve juicy hamburgers, crisp, salty fries, and tall, thick, ice-cold milkshakes. He was so preoccupied that he almost plowed right into Indy's back when Indy stopped to talk with one of the vendors. Money was exchanged and Indy turned around. He had a shish-kabob like stick in each hand, large chunks of roasted meat speared on them almost to the top.

"Here, kid," said Indy, passing Mutt one of the sticks.

"We're not getting burgers?" asked Mutt, looking disappointed.

Indy chuckled. "Kid, one of our good friend the Ox's favorite sayings is, 'When in Rome, do as Romans do.'"

Mutt knew that; he'd heard it enough times growing up.

Indy gestured to the shish-kabob in Mutt's hand. "I'd hurry up and eat that if I were you. Roast guinea pig is best hot."

Mutt stopped in his tracks. "Whoa. Did you just say 'roasted guinea pig'?"

"Yep."

"Aren't they those fat things that look like rats?" Mutt wanted to know.

"It's a local delicacy." Indy replied through a mouthful.

Mutt thought for a minute. He was hungry, all right, but definitely not hungry enough to eat roasted rat. He handed his shish-kabob back to Indy.

"Suit yourself, kid," said Indy with a shrug.

He happily finished both sticks of roasted guinea pig before leading Mutt to a jungle flophouse he knew of. Indy was sure he and Mutt would more comfortable in separate rooms, but with the KGB on their tails, it was definitely safer for them to share a room. The room they were rented was very small and had only one bed.

"You can have it," offered Mutt, dropping the saddlebags from his motorcycle onto the dirt floor. "Sleepin' on the floor ain't good for a geezer's back."

"Gee, thanks, kid," Indy said sourly.

He set his bullwhip on the nightstand and rested his hat on the bedpost. Then he removed his shirt and shoes and set them beside the bed. Mutt stretched out on the floor beside the bed. The geezer could handle himself in a fight pretty good, but in case he was a heavy sleeper, Mutt thought it best he sleep between the geezer and the door. Like he had on other occasions, he'd use his saddlebags for a pillow and his leather jacket for a blanket.

"That was a damn good meal, kid," said Indy, now relaxing in the bed.

"I'll take your word for it," said Mutt, slipping his switchblade under his makeshift pillow.

"Try to get some sleep, kid. We're gonna have a long day tomorrow." Indy turned off the single oil lamp that lit the room. "And don't wake me up in the middle of the night complaining about having a stomachache." he added sternly.

Mutt hadn't planned on doing that anyway. He rolled over so he was facing away from Indy and tried to go to sleep. He was nearly asleep when a cockroach the size of his switchblade skittered across the floor, an inch away from his nose.  
The night soon turned into a long one for Mutt. He was something of an insomniac to start with and listening to the geezer snore away on the bed wasn't very helpful. Neither was the fact that his stomach kept rumbling from hunger at odd moments. Sheer exhaustion eventually overtook discomfort and Mutt fell into a light sleep.

Mutt was awakened by someone nudging him in the ribs with their toe. He opened his eyes a little and saw Indy standing over him.

"Rise and shine, kid," he said.

Mutt still felt exhausted. He glanced out the window. "It's still dark out." He rolled over and mumbled, "Wake me up at sunrise."

"Can't do that, kid. The sun won't rise for about another hour. We need to start looking for the Ox and your mom." Indy knew those words would motivate the kid to get moving.

Mutt sleepily stood up, picked up his saddlebag, and set it on the nightstand. He pulled a fresh T-shirt from one of the pockets and a tin of hair oil from another. He changed into the new T-shirt, rolled the old one up and put it in his bag, then extracted his comb from his back pocket. The last of Mutt's drowsiness ebbed away and he noticed his stomach was now growling with the volume and intensity of his Harley-Davidson's engine. It hurt a little too, but he tried not to let it show in his face as he worked to restore his pompadour. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Indy seemed to be holding something behind his back.

"What's that?" asked Mutt.

"Something you'll be very interested in," Indy replied cryptically.

"A skull? Clues to where my mom and the Ox are?" Mutt guessed.

Indy shook his head and adjusted his position so Mutt could see what he was holding. Mutt couldn't hide his delight at seeing it was a loaded breakfast tray: scrambled eggs, bacon, some kind of fruit, something that looked like a doughnut, and a glass of milk.

"All yours, kid," said Indy.

Mutt quickly sat down on the bed, grabbed the tray, and started greedily eating his breakfast. Indy watched, deciding not to tell the kid that the scrambled eggs were iguana eggs, the bacon was from a tapir, and the glass of milk was fresh from the innkeeper's llama...

**THE END**


	2. Chapter 2: Mutt's Revenge

**A/N: Yeah, I planned this as a one-shot, but then I thought it might be amusing to try the flipside of the story. As always, please read and review!**

Mutt and Indy were sitting in a booth together at Arnie's Diner. Indy and Marion had just returned from their long-overdue honeymoon and Marion had insisted Indy take Mutt to dinner. She said they needed the father-son bonding time, but Indy knew she had an ulterior motive, namely, she didn't feel like cooking. Indy had let his son choose the restaurant.

Even if he didn't need reading glasses, Indy would've felt old at Arnie's. Its usual clientele consisted of high-schoolers and college students of varying classes--greasers, letterman, poodle girls, girls who hung around with the greasers, and the occasional unclassifiable middle-class kid mixed in for flavor.

Indy sensed the presence of someone else near their booth. He glanced up from his menu and saw a slim, caramel-blond waitress around Mutt's age standing beside the table. The nametag pinned to the waitress's uniform read: Johanna.

Mutt regarded her coolly. "How you doin', doll?"

Johanna giggled slightly and blushed. Indy bent his head to conceal a grin himself. There was definitely no doubt left in his mind that Mutt was his son.

"Can I get you something to drink?" asked Johanna.

"A Dr. Pepper and a chocolate milkshake," said Mutt.

"Water's fine," said Indy.

As soon as Johanna was out of sight, Mutt pulled his comb out of his back pocket and ran it quickly through his hair. Indy thought it was in poor taste to start combing your hair in the middle of a restaurant, but he didn't say anything because he didn't feel like arguing with his son about it...not in public, at least.

Johanna returned several minutes later with their drinks. She haphazardly slammed Indy's water glass onto the table, causing the lemon wedge to slip off the top of the glass and some of the water to slosh out. However, she took very great care in setting down Mutt's soda and milkshake, pausing to read the stitching on his leather jacket.

"Mutt," she said. "I like that name. It's very original."

"Well, my old man here's a really original person," said Mutt. "Ain't that right, Daddy-o?"

Indy grunted noncommittally in response. He couldn't really take any credit for Mutt's name (or nickname, in this case).

"Are you ready to order or do you need a few minutes?" asked Johanna.

"I'd like to have a few minutes with you," Mutt replied, causing Johanna to giggle again. "But, yeah, I don't think Dad knows what he wants yet."

"Okay. I'll be back."

"You better be."

Indy chuckled and shook his head.

"So what do you think you're getting?" Mutt asked him.

Indy ran his thumb down the menu's list of offerings, thinking. "Probably a grilled cheese and maybe some tomato soup."

"You're so boring," said Mutt.

"I like grilled cheese," Indy countered. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"How about you let me order for both of us tonight?" Mutt proposed.

"I don't know about that, kid."

"Dad, you really owe me after that one thing that happened in Nazca."

"Which was...?" Indy honestly didn't have a clue what the kid was talking about. Not the bike, Indy had managed to recover that before they left. The scorpion sting? That had healed up fine; the kid should be over it.

"That first night," said Mutt, trying to jog his dad's memory. Not seeing a flicker of recognition in his face, Mutt added, "You know, how you let me starve."

"First of all, I didn't let you starve. You didn't want the roast guinea pig and there didn't happen to be a hamburger stand nearby." Indy said patiently. "Second of all, I think I made up for that when I bought you breakfast the next morning."

Mutt shook his head. "Not in my book. My stomach hurt so bad I couldn't sleep. I had to drink sodas the whole next day just to stay awake."

"Sodas _I _paid for," Indy pointed out.

Mutt wasn't about to give up. He had his dad's stubborn streak, after all, and he'd been dying to try and give the old man a taste of his own medicine.

"Come on, Dad," he coaxed. "I thought you were an adventurer."

That touched a nerve with Indy. He let out a sigh and consented to trying whatever Mutt had in mind.

Right about then, Johanna came back to the table, pen poised over her order pad.

"Are you ready to order?" she asked.

Mutt nodded. "Two double cheeseburgers with extra pickles and chili fries. And later on, bring us some peach pie with ice cream on top for dessert."

"The burgers might take a little while, they always do," said Johanna, copying down the orders. "I'll bring the fries out first to hold you over."

"I appreciate that, doll," said Mutt.

Johanna smiled and walked back in the direction of the kitchen. Mutt turned his head to follow her, eyes watching the gentle sway of her hips. Indy cleared his throat loudly, which brought his son back to his senses.

"What?" Mutt said innocently.

"Double cheeseburgers, chili fries, pie with ice cream," Indy repeated. "You know your mom's going to have to buy me new pants, right?"

Gone were the days Indy could eat whatever he wanted and not worry about gaining weight.

Johanna came over and set two plates of chili fries on the table. Mutt dug into his at once; Indy sat, studying them as though they were a particularly puzzling code or strange artifact. He slowly picked up one of the chili-coated fries and put it in his mouth. He chewed it thoughtfully, then pulled a face as he swallowed.

"I don't see how you kids can stand those things," said Indy, taking a long drink of water to get rid of the taste.

He picked through his plate, nibbling on the few fries that weren't covered in chili. There was a question Indy felt he needed to ask Mutt, but his son's attention was fixed on his plate and he'd never hear it.

When Mutt finally slowed down about halfway through the fries, Indy seized the opportunity.

"Does your mother know you eat like this?" The rest of the impending meal didn't sound any healthier than the appetizer. He wasn't fussy about nutrition himself and he'd never known Marion to be, but he suspected things could've changed after she became a mother.

"Yeah." his son replied with a shrug. "She doesn't make a big deal about it."

Johanna reappeared moments later with their cheeseburgers. She refilled Indy's water glass and brought Mutt another Dr. Pepper. Father and son enjoyed the burgers in contented silence, then Johanna returned a final time with the peach pie _a la modes _and the check. Even though Indy pulled out his wallet to pay, Johanna gave the slip of paper to Mutt. One glance immediately told him why: scrawled at the bottom was the waitress's phone number. Mutt offered her a wink and mouthed "I'll call you."

"I bet all the girls at your school loved you," said Indy, taking the check from Mutt to see how much they owed. "What made you wanna leave all that behind?"

"If there'd actually _been_ girls, I wouldn't've left. See, all the prep schools Mom and the Ox sent me to were all-boys." Mutt explained. "I flunked out or got kicked out on purpose, hoping the next school they'd pick was coed."

Indy chuckled again, then shoved the amount they owed plus tip under the edge of his plate. As they left the diner, he reflected on Mutt's choice of dinner. The cheeseburger was excellent, the fries were terrible, and the pie was a little too sweet. He'd probably end up having a snack just so he could sleep. He and Mutt were definitely even...

**THE END**


End file.
